So I chose this blog title for a few reasons.:) Since some may not know, I am currently a divorced Mom of four rambunctious, busy, creative, intelligent, sometimes messy, and loving) children! Although I would prefer not to go through such a life challenge like this. Overall I feel like the effects have made me a stronger person and really put my life into perspective about what it IS important and what isn't and I am actually grateful for many things I've learned because of this hardship.
So the blog title... it just seems really fitting for my life right now and what I've been through. There have been a lot of different parts to this whole process. One part was learning to go forward even when the path seemed a LITTLE scary and a LOT different than what I had planned on. I also had to learn to be more patient when almost everything was out of my control. A large part of this last year has been about waiting for things to be done and not really being able to GO forward at all because the divorce process wasn't complete. And then there is the part that is REAL LIFE. Which means even though some things were not going forward and part of my life was on hold, FOUR children were not on hold and they don't stop... EVER!!:) So I learned being a parent means you kind of have to be a go type of person no matter what else stops in your life! All of these challenges have taught me the same thing, which is that we should always be "pressing forward" no matter how hard the road might be or how hard other people try to stop you from being able to do that.
I actually attempted to start this blog months ago (which you will see old posts I posted before). I didn't publish this blog though because I had thought my divorce was going to go through and then... it didn't until months later.:( The total process took a year and a half, which is a long time to be stuck in limbo!! It was so frustrating but also I think kind of a good time for me to be "just me" and work on the healing process you have to go through when something major like this happens. So finally... it went through!! I had been waiting so long to just know where I could live, how I would live and what I could do. And then finally I was divorced! It felt like forever I was just waiting in limbo land... not married, not single, just stuck! Not surprisingly, I couldn't wait for it to all be over. I know every situation is different. In my case the tears and pain had long been shed and I just wanted to be able to GO forward again!
I hope that anyone that would read this would understand that a mother of four children would never want to raise them by herself! I know that in today's society many families are facing hardship. And that marriage can be challenging but mostly rewarding. Nothing that is worth anything is ever easy. I just wanted to say I am really an advocate of families staying together and children having their mother and father raise them together in all situations except extreme. I think if two people are willing to work on things that you can usually work things out. But sometimes two people aren't willing and sometimes things do not work out the way they are supposed to. And sometimes it really is necessary to just be done. I can firmly say that in my situation there was no other option than single motherhood.
I had so many people help me in this process. I've really had this year to really appreciate the fact that I have the best friends and family. They are really people that I admire and look up to and was just so glad to have the support I needed. I also am so thankful for my bishop whom I feel like ultimately helped me the most with all of the big decisions I had to make. I was able to meet with him whenever I needed. Every time I went to see him I would go hoping that he would give me all the magic answers on what to do. However that was never the case and each meeting ended the exact opposite of what I was hoping! But what I needed to hear he taught me. He taught me how to find answers by working hard to study, pray, keep myself around the right people and right places. How to find truth and most importantly how to follow it. Once things were finally done and I had done all I needed to do he finally did give me some answers!! He reminded me that it wasn't all done and that it was just the beginning of a new life for me and children and to get going on it. So that to me means... get Ready, get Set and Go. I'm just so thankful for all the help I've had a long the way. Even though it has been probably been the hardest thing I've ever done it has also been a great learning experience for me. I can honestly say that despite it all, I am thankful for who I've become in the process.
PS... the kids are doing great! We talk about things respectfully, they've been to counseling and I've realized how resilient kids really are. They just have this zest for life that just keeps them naturally moving forward. I'm so glad to have them here to share life with me and keep me moving in the right direction.
the end.
So the blog title... it just seems really fitting for my life right now and what I've been through. There have been a lot of different parts to this whole process. One part was learning to go forward even when the path seemed a LITTLE scary and a LOT different than what I had planned on. I also had to learn to be more patient when almost everything was out of my control. A large part of this last year has been about waiting for things to be done and not really being able to GO forward at all because the divorce process wasn't complete. And then there is the part that is REAL LIFE. Which means even though some things were not going forward and part of my life was on hold, FOUR children were not on hold and they don't stop... EVER!!:) So I learned being a parent means you kind of have to be a go type of person no matter what else stops in your life! All of these challenges have taught me the same thing, which is that we should always be "pressing forward" no matter how hard the road might be or how hard other people try to stop you from being able to do that.
I actually attempted to start this blog months ago (which you will see old posts I posted before). I didn't publish this blog though because I had thought my divorce was going to go through and then... it didn't until months later.:( The total process took a year and a half, which is a long time to be stuck in limbo!! It was so frustrating but also I think kind of a good time for me to be "just me" and work on the healing process you have to go through when something major like this happens. So finally... it went through!! I had been waiting so long to just know where I could live, how I would live and what I could do. And then finally I was divorced! It felt like forever I was just waiting in limbo land... not married, not single, just stuck! Not surprisingly, I couldn't wait for it to all be over. I know every situation is different. In my case the tears and pain had long been shed and I just wanted to be able to GO forward again!
I hope that anyone that would read this would understand that a mother of four children would never want to raise them by herself! I know that in today's society many families are facing hardship. And that marriage can be challenging but mostly rewarding. Nothing that is worth anything is ever easy. I just wanted to say I am really an advocate of families staying together and children having their mother and father raise them together in all situations except extreme. I think if two people are willing to work on things that you can usually work things out. But sometimes two people aren't willing and sometimes things do not work out the way they are supposed to. And sometimes it really is necessary to just be done. I can firmly say that in my situation there was no other option than single motherhood.
I had so many people help me in this process. I've really had this year to really appreciate the fact that I have the best friends and family. They are really people that I admire and look up to and was just so glad to have the support I needed. I also am so thankful for my bishop whom I feel like ultimately helped me the most with all of the big decisions I had to make. I was able to meet with him whenever I needed. Every time I went to see him I would go hoping that he would give me all the magic answers on what to do. However that was never the case and each meeting ended the exact opposite of what I was hoping! But what I needed to hear he taught me. He taught me how to find answers by working hard to study, pray, keep myself around the right people and right places. How to find truth and most importantly how to follow it. Once things were finally done and I had done all I needed to do he finally did give me some answers!! He reminded me that it wasn't all done and that it was just the beginning of a new life for me and children and to get going on it. So that to me means... get Ready, get Set and Go. I'm just so thankful for all the help I've had a long the way. Even though it has been probably been the hardest thing I've ever done it has also been a great learning experience for me. I can honestly say that despite it all, I am thankful for who I've become in the process.
PS... the kids are doing great! We talk about things respectfully, they've been to counseling and I've realized how resilient kids really are. They just have this zest for life that just keeps them naturally moving forward. I'm so glad to have them here to share life with me and keep me moving in the right direction.
the end.
The Beach kids and I
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